Girl, you bad, and that's good.

Or, A few notes about bikes.

- Never buy a bike off of craigslist from a hipster who endorses fixed-gears because he won't care when your derailleur breaks every other day or be sympathetic to the fact that you live at the top of a gigantic hill.

- Note to pedestrians: you are predictable when you walk in a straight line at a steady pace. I can deal with predictability. What I can't deal with:
  • If you jaywalk at a break in cars without checking for bikes and then screech to a deer-in-the-headlights halt, you make it more difficult for me to figure out whether to swerve ahead or behind you.
  • If I get on the sidewalk to avoid potholes and come up behind you walking obliviously with your headset, I'm not wagering on you weaving to and fro. The brakes on the hipster's bike are not so good, so in all likelihood I'll swerve in this case, also, and if I happen to catch my rear wheel on the Jersey barrier causing me to tumble over the top of my handlebars, crushing my own dear iPod, I will mourn it for three months.
- Recent (nonrandomly sampled entirely anecodotal) evidence suggests bikers are more social than either car drivers or pedestrians. If true, we can attribute this phenomenon to the lack of a physical barrier between two bikers and the avoidance of urban filtering devices like mp3 player or phone while riding. I definitely see more of my pedestrian friends from my bike than see me, approx. a half dozen in the past week.
  • I submit as further evidence exhibit (or character witness?) A the dude who pulled up next to me at a red light after I had coasted through the previous, asking, "So you decided to stop for this one, huh?" I will add that he was wearing aviators and aggressively all-black Eurotrash business cazh and may have felt emasculated by not risking it himself.
  • Exhibit B: Guy who politely suggested it's getting too cold to ride, while shivering in shorts and a hoodie, to which I responded I have to ride for another month since I forgot to pick up my metrocheks, but that I do find it somewhat disgusting that car exhaust feels good because it's warm.
- Speaking of too cold, my limited experience holds that a windbreaker and gloves offer reasonable protection. For the lower body, knee-high boots and a knee-length skirt are the best combo. Long skirt obviously won't work. Pants are good for the left leg but have to be rolled up on the right, leaving it bare. Boots provide skin-skimming coverage for those not willing to invest in overengineered yellow leggings.

- It is far easier to bike in heels than it is to walk in heels. I swear. I mean, I only have to push with the ball of my foot, which is not at all affected by what is on the back. I would maybe wish for heels without slick soles so that I could stand up to pedal, but I'm wearing a skirt, so the point is kind of moot. The hammering on my joints and damage to my spine saved are well worth it.

All that being said, it makes me smile when my lady security officer, says, "Ooh, look at you bikin' in heels, you a bad girl." Clarification at my astonished expression, "And that's good."


At 3/11/05 00:43, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3/11/05 17:33, Blogger Josh Craft said...

Yo go biker girl!

Most of what you see is reasonable, but I would like to add a quibble. Those damn "professional" bikers on the DC trails (C & O and into Alexandria) need to slow down. Those roads are for pedestrians and runners too, not for guys going 30+.

At 12/11/05 13:48, Blogger grammar lammer said...

maybe your heels-on-bike revelation will finally allow shoes to be pushed to truly towering heights (we're talking over twelve inches. hey, why not three feet?). i mean, if chicks can just ride instead of walk so they can wear those shoes, won't they? maybe what we really need to save us from this oil crisis is some footwear ingenuity. then bikes it will have to be.


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